You just can't choose family....

Here's the background:

Baldman's grandma is turning 87 this year, and her health is declining more rapidly. Since no one on his side put together the reunion they wanted to do, Supergrammy and I put our heads together and are planning a huge birthday party for her so people can see her and she can watch the kids play, etc. One of the things she doesn't like is alcohol. Since half of the people coming are under drinking age, and all but four people who are of age don't drink either, we put a general ban on all alcohol, to keep it away from the teens and the babies and to keep Grandma happy.

You would have thought World War III was starting. One of Baldman's cousin is trying to start a whole theological debate about it, saying that the bible that grandma believes in allows alcohol, and that Jesus Christ drank, so it should be allowed.

For those who know me, when people try to throw "facts" or opinions at me, what do I do? That's right, I research. I hit the scholarly websites and cited passages from the bible going against drinking, the science of alcohol in biblical times and brought up the reasons it was banned in general from the party. I seriously wanted to belt the woman. I almost went super mean and said "don't provoke the researcher; she'll blow your mind away"....but I behaved. I stuck with facts and left it alone. I almost cancelled the whole thing because I'm not putting up with bullshit, but because of who it is for and what it is for, I'm keeping it on. The family deserves a happy memory with grandma one last time before she passes on, and I think that day is going to be coming soon.

The Cousin's trying to start more shit. But you know what? Baldman and Supergrammy are paying for all the food and decorations, I'm doing all the cooking, and her own sister said no alcohol because it's at her home and she wants to respect grandma's wishes. If she wants to pull this shit, she can come by, say hello to those who she rarely sees, and leave. If it's so important for her and her psycho parents to drink at the party, they can just not bother to show up. If it were an adults only party and her family were responsible drinkers, alcohol would be fine. But her dad is a violent, angry drinker, and her husband/boyfriend/domestic partner is even worse and was already banned from the party. Why expose grandma and the kids (very impressionable kids, I might add) to that toxicity?

Grandma was one of the first people who welcomed me into this family with open arms, and accepted my brother like her own grandson. He's even coming to the party to see her and give her a hug because he respects her so much. This cousin just couldn't be bothered with talking to us more than once a year since we moved up here until her sister moved here and her sister and I became friends.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I'll be repeating that to myself a lot on Friday. Well, that, and "two to the chest, one to the head" when dealing with the psycho crazy zealots......

Fertility treatments suck

I don't know which drug we're assigned, but I sure hope it works this time. Last month was not lucky (I still blame the Baldman and his need to help the cousins with the airport for missing the window, not to mention his inability to stick to the schedule).

Whatever drug this is, it's making me moody and cranky and sick and I hate how I feel. I hate being emotional all the damn time (worse than in high school, which should tell you all something if you remember me from then). I hate being sick to my stomach and still having to do everything in the house plus take care of MonkeyChild, even though Baldman is home. I seriously question why we are doing this study at times, even though I want one more child, because why would I want to increase my workload more with no help or support?

I know it's the emotions talking, but damn it, I want this hellish nightmare to be over. So if people could send some babydust positive vibes my way and maybe this time it will work it would be greatly appreciated.

no luck this month....:-(

No luck this month. Not surprising considering Baldman's need to help our cousin's with their trek to the airport that went horribly wrong twice at the most important time for trying.

Needless to say, he'll pay.

Study day 24

Today was my followup in the study to go in for a follicle count, bloodwork and to trade in packets.

The good news? The first round did cause ovulation, so my med amount doesn't need adjusting, which is nice.

The eh news? Don't know yet if I am pregnant or not. it's too soon for anything to show up on bloodwork or on ultrasound. I have to wait a week to test or for my period to show up.

The bad news? The research assistant doing my blood draw today blew my last good vein in my left arm. My right arm has been no good for years, thanks to the air force vampires who couldn't do a good stick if their promotions depended on it. This means from now on the draws have to be in my hands, which this assistant tried to do but just hates and only got one vial of three needed, but it was enough for them to do the tests needed. I now have very bruised hand and inner crook of my elbow.

Now it's time for the waiting game....so please, send positive thoughts and baby dust my way!!!

Are you f***ing kidding me?

So I'm not going to my reunion next month, for many reasons.

The biggest one is cost, but not just the cost of flying out there and for hotel. First, they wanted to charge 80 for a whole weekend per person, then when enough people complained there was a sunday only option for people with families for a reduced price. Since I'm not made of money and definitely not local, I'm passing. I'm not in the mood to pay for someone's bar tab when I don't drink and to be around people who, from the looks of the reunion board, about 75 percent of the group has not left the high school or party scene.

After someone I knew well posted that he had to skip it due to costs as well, I made the simple suggestion to anyone on the East Coast (NYC and Boston areas) who had to miss it due to costs that maybe an option would be to maybe plan a mini-reunion for those on this side who want to meet up, perhaps linking it to the one out there with skype or something, or for after so that people who want to go to both can do so. I offered to open my home. My university does these types of events around the country for alumni, so why not this?

Well, you would have thought that I suggested that the world was coming to an end. Everyone who's on the planning committee is like, oh, what about couch surfing or here's what I found for airfare. Do they not understand that people have budgets, and families to support? I mean, I understand that yes, they are all single, and that yes, they want to make the reunion a large social event. But damn it all, some of us just can't swing thousands of dollars to fly out to an event that seems to be executed by the seat of their pants.

Maybe I'll see if there is an interest in a mini reunion, but with how the organizers are acting, I don't know if I should. God knows I wasn't in the popular group in high school, partying and getting schmucked and futhered every weekend.

Maybe by the 20th one the events will be more family and friendly, but I don't see that happening.

It's officially starting...

the first round of the study begins! Went to Burlington yesterday, where I got a whole lot of blood drawn and an ultrasound to do a follicle count (and there were a lot!), and I start the first round of drugs tomorrow!

As I get closer and closer to beginning this, I'm starting to freak out. I want one more child, I do; but it's just the idea of having to go the fertility drug route to do it that makes me sad. I'm already moody as it is off of the pill, so depending on which drug the study has me in (it's a double blind study; neither the provider or I know, all we know is that it is one drug or the other, no placebos) I may get super bitchy.

Like how I was back in high school bitchy.

Not a good thing. But I guess it's a good thing I'm not going to the reunion next month; would make people think I haven't changed. LOL

Monkeychild and reading

I love my son, I love him dearly. And I love how smart he seems to be. But sometimes it can be a little problem.

We were shopping yesterday, and I had him in the cart walking around our home away from home, Target. Well, lately, he's been learning how to read letters, and he's started to put words together.

Note to self: Do not take him into the bra and underwear aisles.