I don't know which drug we're assigned, but I sure hope it works this time. Last month was not lucky (I still blame the Baldman and his need to help the cousins with the airport for missing the window, not to mention his inability to stick to the schedule).
Whatever drug this is, it's making me moody and cranky and sick and I hate how I feel. I hate being emotional all the damn time (worse than in high school, which should tell you all something if you remember me from then). I hate being sick to my stomach and still having to do everything in the house plus take care of MonkeyChild, even though Baldman is home. I seriously question why we are doing this study at times, even though I want one more child, because why would I want to increase my workload more with no help or support?
I know it's the emotions talking, but damn it, I want this hellish nightmare to be over. So if people could send some babydust positive vibes my way and maybe this time it will work it would be greatly appreciated.
Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
no luck this month....:-(
No luck this month. Not surprising considering Baldman's need to help our cousin's with their trek to the airport that went horribly wrong twice at the most important time for trying.
Needless to say, he'll pay.
Needless to say, he'll pay.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Study day 24
Today was my followup in the study to go in for a follicle count, bloodwork and to trade in packets.
The good news? The first round did cause ovulation, so my med amount doesn't need adjusting, which is nice.
The eh news? Don't know yet if I am pregnant or not. it's too soon for anything to show up on bloodwork or on ultrasound. I have to wait a week to test or for my period to show up.
The bad news? The research assistant doing my blood draw today blew my last good vein in my left arm. My right arm has been no good for years, thanks to the air force vampires who couldn't do a good stick if their promotions depended on it. This means from now on the draws have to be in my hands, which this assistant tried to do but just hates and only got one vial of three needed, but it was enough for them to do the tests needed. I now have very bruised hand and inner crook of my elbow.
Now it's time for the waiting game....so please, send positive thoughts and baby dust my way!!!
The good news? The first round did cause ovulation, so my med amount doesn't need adjusting, which is nice.
The eh news? Don't know yet if I am pregnant or not. it's too soon for anything to show up on bloodwork or on ultrasound. I have to wait a week to test or for my period to show up.
The bad news? The research assistant doing my blood draw today blew my last good vein in my left arm. My right arm has been no good for years, thanks to the air force vampires who couldn't do a good stick if their promotions depended on it. This means from now on the draws have to be in my hands, which this assistant tried to do but just hates and only got one vial of three needed, but it was enough for them to do the tests needed. I now have very bruised hand and inner crook of my elbow.
Now it's time for the waiting game....so please, send positive thoughts and baby dust my way!!!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Are you f***ing kidding me?
So I'm not going to my reunion next month, for many reasons.
The biggest one is cost, but not just the cost of flying out there and for hotel. First, they wanted to charge 80 for a whole weekend per person, then when enough people complained there was a sunday only option for people with families for a reduced price. Since I'm not made of money and definitely not local, I'm passing. I'm not in the mood to pay for someone's bar tab when I don't drink and to be around people who, from the looks of the reunion board, about 75 percent of the group has not left the high school or party scene.
After someone I knew well posted that he had to skip it due to costs as well, I made the simple suggestion to anyone on the East Coast (NYC and Boston areas) who had to miss it due to costs that maybe an option would be to maybe plan a mini-reunion for those on this side who want to meet up, perhaps linking it to the one out there with skype or something, or for after so that people who want to go to both can do so. I offered to open my home. My university does these types of events around the country for alumni, so why not this?
Well, you would have thought that I suggested that the world was coming to an end. Everyone who's on the planning committee is like, oh, what about couch surfing or here's what I found for airfare. Do they not understand that people have budgets, and families to support? I mean, I understand that yes, they are all single, and that yes, they want to make the reunion a large social event. But damn it all, some of us just can't swing thousands of dollars to fly out to an event that seems to be executed by the seat of their pants.
Maybe I'll see if there is an interest in a mini reunion, but with how the organizers are acting, I don't know if I should. God knows I wasn't in the popular group in high school, partying and getting schmucked and futhered every weekend.
Maybe by the 20th one the events will be more family and friendly, but I don't see that happening.
The biggest one is cost, but not just the cost of flying out there and for hotel. First, they wanted to charge 80 for a whole weekend per person, then when enough people complained there was a sunday only option for people with families for a reduced price. Since I'm not made of money and definitely not local, I'm passing. I'm not in the mood to pay for someone's bar tab when I don't drink and to be around people who, from the looks of the reunion board, about 75 percent of the group has not left the high school or party scene.
After someone I knew well posted that he had to skip it due to costs as well, I made the simple suggestion to anyone on the East Coast (NYC and Boston areas) who had to miss it due to costs that maybe an option would be to maybe plan a mini-reunion for those on this side who want to meet up, perhaps linking it to the one out there with skype or something, or for after so that people who want to go to both can do so. I offered to open my home. My university does these types of events around the country for alumni, so why not this?
Well, you would have thought that I suggested that the world was coming to an end. Everyone who's on the planning committee is like, oh, what about couch surfing or here's what I found for airfare. Do they not understand that people have budgets, and families to support? I mean, I understand that yes, they are all single, and that yes, they want to make the reunion a large social event. But damn it all, some of us just can't swing thousands of dollars to fly out to an event that seems to be executed by the seat of their pants.
Maybe I'll see if there is an interest in a mini reunion, but with how the organizers are acting, I don't know if I should. God knows I wasn't in the popular group in high school, partying and getting schmucked and futhered every weekend.
Maybe by the 20th one the events will be more family and friendly, but I don't see that happening.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
It's officially starting...
the first round of the study begins! Went to Burlington yesterday, where I got a whole lot of blood drawn and an ultrasound to do a follicle count (and there were a lot!), and I start the first round of drugs tomorrow!
As I get closer and closer to beginning this, I'm starting to freak out. I want one more child, I do; but it's just the idea of having to go the fertility drug route to do it that makes me sad. I'm already moody as it is off of the pill, so depending on which drug the study has me in (it's a double blind study; neither the provider or I know, all we know is that it is one drug or the other, no placebos) I may get super bitchy.
Like how I was back in high school bitchy.
Not a good thing. But I guess it's a good thing I'm not going to the reunion next month; would make people think I haven't changed. LOL
As I get closer and closer to beginning this, I'm starting to freak out. I want one more child, I do; but it's just the idea of having to go the fertility drug route to do it that makes me sad. I'm already moody as it is off of the pill, so depending on which drug the study has me in (it's a double blind study; neither the provider or I know, all we know is that it is one drug or the other, no placebos) I may get super bitchy.
Like how I was back in high school bitchy.
Not a good thing. But I guess it's a good thing I'm not going to the reunion next month; would make people think I haven't changed. LOL
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Monkeychild and reading
I love my son, I love him dearly. And I love how smart he seems to be. But sometimes it can be a little problem.
We were shopping yesterday, and I had him in the cart walking around our home away from home, Target. Well, lately, he's been learning how to read letters, and he's started to put words together.
Note to self: Do not take him into the bra and underwear aisles.
We were shopping yesterday, and I had him in the cart walking around our home away from home, Target. Well, lately, he's been learning how to read letters, and he's started to put words together.
Note to self: Do not take him into the bra and underwear aisles.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
ABCs of Trying To Conceive
Saw this on another blog and thought it was an interesting way to get some perspective
A. Age when you started TTC: 19, then stopped for a bit, then 24/25. Had MonkeyChild, now I'm 27 and trying for our last child
B. Baby Dancing or Sex: Either one. Both lead to the same thing, hopefully. :-)
C. Children wanted: It used it be four. Then we raised my brothers, and then had Monkey Child. We decided one more would be enough. So I guess, in a way, we will have had four children.
D. Dogs/Cats/Fill in Children: Can't have pets, but for some reason I seem to be the go-to gal for info or as a sympathetic ear to my brother's friends.
E. Essential Oils/Vitamins/Snake Oils: Prenatals, 4mg of folic acid (don't want a repeat of SB like with Monkey)
F. Fertility Meds I’ve taken: None yet, but will soon, and I won't know which one.
G. Gain: Too much! After done having kids and if I don't lose a bunch breast feeding, then I will consider gastric bypass.
H. HSG (Hystosalpingogram): nope, but I had a sonohystogram. that's the one with saline.
I. Infertile Pet Peeves: too many. people who say to just relax, the people who yell out "finally!" when a pregnancy is announced, etc
J. Job title:Independent consultant for Pampered Chef; mama, wife, and writer.
K. Kid’s names you’re afraid will be taken by the time you can use them: it's happened before, which is why we're not saying anything.
L. Length of time TTC: this time around, since January.
M. Miscarriages: One confirmed.
N. Number of times you’ve switched OB/GYNS, REs, FSs: Twice, unless you count switching doctors within a practice, then it's three. But the new one is for the study I am in.
O. Ovarian quality: ha. seriously? I have PCOS. It's not like I can know when it'll happen....
P. POAS or wait for AF: Now I have to pee on a stick. Waiting for AF is not an option.
Q. Quote from an obnoxious fertile: "It's a good thing you are miscarrying because you are too young to be having children" from the OB who saw me during my miscarriage. I had been married over a year and was raising my brothers. It was while Baldman was in the air force and the doc was a captain about to pin on his oakleaf for major...let's just say he had to wait an extra year to pin it on :-P.
S. Sperm: all well and good, apparently. We found out as part of the study.
T. Time you tried naturally: too long. When you have PCOS or other fertility issues, you can't wait.
U. Uterus quality: Was told bicornuate, but sonohystogram says it's only an arcuate uterus. Only slightly deformed :-)
V. Vagina:That works just fine, as the Baldman showed me during monkey child's naptime ;-)
W. What baby stuff do you already have?: I have maternity clothes still, but I gave away most of our old baby stuff when we were told we couldn't have more. Should have gotten that second opinion sooner! But it will be nice to go get new stuff.
X. X-tra X-tra Hear all about it! How many people know the ins and outs of our crazy TTC journey? Some people. I don't keep it a secret. There's no shame in what's wrong. At least I took the initiative to find out what was wrong!
Y. Yearly Exam (do you still go in even though someone sees your lady parts most months?): Oh yes. I don't mess around with that.
Z. Zits: It's worse now that we're TTCing. the BCP were helpful with that and the extra hair, but now that I'm not on it the zits are back and the hair is annoying.
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