Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

Sunday, December 12, 2010

What went down

Those of you who follow me on Facebook may have noticed that some stuff went down between my sister in law and myself. It's been a long build up and finally just had to spew for the sake of my sanity, but here goes:

She made a bad joke (supposedly a joke, according to her) about not understanding why I feel as old as I do. I did not see it as a joke, and I never do from people who know what we went through raising Booger Child and such (anyone who knows me at all knows NEVER to joke about that). She has said in the past that we have no idea what it is like to raise teenagers; has treated Baldman like her "dorky baby brother", even though they are all over the age of thirty and are supposedly adults, and tries to say that he's not disabled, and does everything to keep him (and me) in a less superior position than herself. She has claimed that I have less life experience than her, and so much other shyte that I blew up. She tried claiming I am trying to take over her position as the daughter from her parents (HAHAHA, not going to happen in a million years; she is always their priority, and I made sure to tell her that....)

After I moved everything to private message, because frankly it was pointless to keep the argument public, she accused me of trying to humiliate her on Facebook; we don't share any of the same friends except for family, and none of them gave a damn.

I tried to stay level headed; I did not use negative terms, I did not call her names (although I sorely wanted to); I simply pointed out that she and I had different views on life and how life experiences shape us and that we are unlikely to ever see eye to eye. I tried to reassure her that I would never try to take her position in her family, and that her parents love her and she is their priority (often above us, especially when her nanny got committed two days before Monkey Child's surgery and Supergrammy went to be with her even though she had already promised to be with me during the surgery). All of this was futile; she was even ruder and was acting more and more like a spoiled brat; she claimed I was the one with the issues and that I needed help; not realizing that I do get help for the issues I have, and will always be getting help because I know how important it is to keep working on those 12 steps for ACOA. I never said I didn't have issues, because I know I do. I'm working on my issues.

Since it is unlikely that she will ever see this, because she is rather self-involved and doesn't give a damn about anyone but herself unless they wound her pride and then she gets bitchy, I'm going to say all of the negative things on here that I didn't say before:

SIL, you are a spoiled, immature, ego-centric brat. You treat your brother like shit, and have no respect for anyone who is younger than you unless they kiss your ass. You do not see that just because a person is younger they can have life experience and that it is not about less or more life experience, it is about the lessons you take from those experiences. You are intolerant, ignorant, and unless you get your head out of your ass and realize that the world does not revolve around you, you will never be truly happy with yourself or with the others in your life. While your kids may be smart, they are being raised to be ignorant and intolerant of other races, religions, and orientations, which when they hit the real world will bite them in the ass unless they are kept sheltered the rest of their life.
You may be older than I am, but you do not act like an adult. You act like a teenager, which is probably why I talked to you like one (as you so accused me of). I never tried to analyze you like a psychologist would, because that's just not what you do with family; but if I were to do so from the way you wrote to me and from your behavior to me and to your family, I would say you have some serious issues that likely point to a personality disorder.
Grow up and get over yourself; You've ruined any chance of a friendship or relationship other than by law with me, and your brother will be letting you know how he feels about you after the holidays; no sense ruining your family's holidays by getting you into a bad mood.  It's a shame you won't get to know your nephew, or any other child we might have if we decide to try again, but then again that's probably for the best. You don't want to know us anyway; if you did, I wouldn't have to always be the one to initiate contact. Don't worry, I will not make that mistake again. All contact or ties to you, your husband, or your children or BFF have been severed, and will stay that way. I kept your parents out of it, except to mention to your mom that she might want to reassure you that your "position in the family" is safe, because if I had those feelings, I would have wanted my parents to reassure me. I even mentioned to your mom that if it were possible to get down to you for Christmas, or for the kids with winter birthdays' celebrations, she should, just so you can feel secure. Unlike you, I care about how other people feel, and if someone feels that insecure, I would go out of my way to help them feel secure. I did it for my brother, and I did it for you because no matter how badly you treat me, you are my sister in law, and I do, or rather did, care about you and your family. Shame you're too much of a selfish bitch to see that.

*sigh* That feels much better. She may never see it, but it's nice to let it out so I can let go and move on.

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