Latest on BIL saga

If you read my last blog, you know that my BIL said he wanted to shoot me in the head if he ever saw me again. Well, something that Baldman said may or may not have gotten through, because he called SuperGrammy and supposedly sounded contrite and repentant.

However, I don't necessarily believe him. The reason is simple. He told supergrammy that he would apologize to me and to Baldman if I apologized to the SIL (his and baldman's sister, who I have vented about before) for what went down in December. He said he had no way to contact us, but he has our phone numbers and our email addresses, so either he's lying to SuperGrammy or he's just wanting us to make the first move so he can feel like the bigger man.

I'm sorry, what are we, TWELVE? Come on. I have nothing to apologize for. And to be fair, neither does she; she has her opinion and I have mine. We are entitled to them and we don't have to like each other. I didn't say anything negative to her or to her family save for Baldman and on here where no names are used and she is unlikely to see it. I tolerated the name calling and the insults, I put up with the mistreatment and smacktalking for years. I don't want to deal with it anymore. I don't need the stress and I don't want to expose my son to that.

If he's truly contrite, then he knows my number. I don't blame him for stick up for his sister (I would do the same for my brothers, although with less violent terms and behaviours), but I do take issue with him doing it behind my back and to people who know me better than he does and actually care about me.

With this and the Baldman not telling his siblings how he feels about their treatment, I feel like I married into a family of twelve year old siblings. They don't know how to communicate and in the case of BaldMan don't bother to even try anymore.

How can anyone...

...say, even jokingly, that they would put a bullet in someone's head when talking shit about them?

My brother in law was up visiting his friend for an annual birthday drinking binge and went to visit our cousins while up here. I don't think he knew how much we see them, and was bitching about me and all the shit that happened between his sister and I, and said that if he ever saw me again he was going to put a bullet in my head for all the shit that went down. The cousins stood up for me, and told him off. That was the first time anyone stood up for me. My own husband wouldn't stand up for me on the shit that went down before to either one. This time he emailed him via facebook supposedly to tell him off, but it still feels like too little too late, know what I mean? Maybe I'm more emotional right now because of the Provera to stop the bleeding, which makes sense, but it hurts

I'm lucky that this jerk lives eight hours away and only comes up once a year. I'm sorry, after what happened with the congresswoman in Arizona (who he hated but I totally respected), how can ANYONE say something like this? Even jokingly?

I cannot believe this guy, his sister and my husband are related. I cannot believe that my husband's parents are the parents to these two; my in laws are wonderful and so nice and we get along well.

Going to get on the fertility drug train...

We decided since our insurance will cover the fertility drugs, we're going to try that. Not looking forward to the mood swings that are likely to come about, but it could be worse. This is the last step I'm willing to take. If it doesn't work, we'll adopt eventually.

In other news, we're flooding in our yard. Seriously, the river is in my yard.

This is before they broke up the ice jam. It's higher now but I have to charge my camera battery.

No luck at all....next steps

So I've been bleeding for 12 days now. Yeah, TWELVE days. I called my doctor and they said that it's the sign that means I haven't been ovulating. F***ing hell.

This means that I have to take medication to stop the bleeding (which I have taken before), and then start taking fertility meds to make me ovulate.

I don't know how I feel about that, besides sad. I wanted to get pregnant without meds, but I know how difficult that will be (I don't want to wait another seven years for a child), so I guess if we're going to have baby number 2 I have to do this.

Baldman and I have a deal: we won't do IVF, which is what the next step would be if the fertility drugs don't work. It costs too much and if we had to use a surrogate there is no one I would want to do that. There has been an offer from a family member, but there is no way I would want that to happen with that person.

I really want to adopt if this doesn't work; Baldman is still not for it completely, but maybe this will change things.....I mean, the fertility meds are supposed to make people a little crazy, so what would he prefer, a crazy wife or a (not quite) normal wife?

No more school, no more guilt

Convinced the Baldman that school needs to be on the back burner and he agreed. He also was okay with me getting into Pampered Chef, which is awesome.

I've been waiting for the guilt to come, but other than a little in the beginning of making this decision, I don't feel sorry or any real guilt. Between Monkey Child needing more and more attention and Baldman's physical limitations getting worse this is the best thing I could have done. Last night I slept well for the first time in months. I've been able to get mostly caught up on housework and have been able to give Monkey Child the extra one on one time he's been wanting lately.

In other news, no luck on the babymaking front, but I'm thinking once warmer weather hits and Baldman's knees and back stop bugging him so much, it'll be easier to get into that babymaking mood. ;-)