the Terrors of Teething and other trials...

Monkey Child is teething again.

I know it's a part of growing up, and I am happy that Monkey Child has his come in as sets instead of one by one, but OMG! It's when we're in the middle of this teething hell that I seriously question having another child.

Right now, I really am unsure about it. I love my son, and I would love to give him a little play mate, but maybe there are other ways to do that. Our friends have a son only a week older of him, and I found out about a play group in the next village over that he could have fun in, as well as one on Fridays in Plattsburgh, but I would have to work with Super Grammy on those to make sure we wouldn't be stuck down there all night.

I mean, I am already having to cope with one toddler, plus the disabled Bald Man, plus the serious problems of Booger Child and trying to get him out of my damn house, I'm not sure it's even worth having another child. We can handle it financially, sort of, but space-wise, and stress-wise, I don't know if it's even worth trying again. We do own our own home, and own it outright (no mortgage), but our trailer is only a single wide and has only two bedrooms and one bathroom. Space is TIGHT. Bald Man is waiting on his status for Social Security, and they do a retroactive payment from the day the claim was filed (he is VERY limited in what he can do now and even when he finishes his degree...anyway), so we may be able to get a larger trailer (maybe even a doublewide!), but I cannot count on that.

Am I crazy? (Shush, Mad Cow!)

Grrr!!!!!

I am usually pretty tolerant. I know people have different beliefs and opinions, and that's okay. I usually keep my opinions to myself unless someone really pushes me, and even then, I tell the pusher that we can have different beliefs and the world will still go around. But REALLY!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/mcclatchy/20100318/pl_mcclatchy/3455226

Attacking an orphaned 11 year old??? That's just wrong. Not that I like the idea of using orphaned kids to push a political agenda in the first place, but to attack the CHILD is just abhorrent.

I am a liberal in most aspects; I believe in tolerance and open expression. I think the only things I fall into the conservative category about are the death penalty (I am pro-death penalty. It's a family reason) and the military issues (I am not pro-war, I am pro supporting the troops who serve and their families who sacrifice a lot), and even in those issues I tend to lean to the moderate line. I support the idea of a universal health care system, so that people who need treatment can get it when they need it. Whenever I hear of people opposing it, I think of Baking Queen, whose husband spent years of his life in the military and while he has health coverage through the Veteran's Administration, she has no health care coverage. I've noticed the most vocal of the opponents to universal health care are those who can afford to get insurance, or even better, have it through their employers. I lucked out in qualifying for state health care because the Bald Man doesn't make enough to buy a policy, but others aren't so lucky, especially those who get social security but collect too much in that to get medical coverage...

This piece of news just makes me want to be more vocal. Not easy to do in a conservative area, but hey, that's what a blog is for...I am all for free press (LOL, working for a newspaper sort of forces that issue), but you NEVER attack a child, no matter what. How can these pundits call themselves journalists? There are ethics, dammit! You don't attack a victim and you DEFINITELY do NOT attack a child!!

*holding up mug of tea* Here's hoping the health care bill passes!

A Farewell to Starbucks Coffee....

I have IBS, which is a huge pain because I have to watch what I eat even more than on a diet. Certain foods can cause an episode, which means no more broccoli (which I miss a lot, because it's my favorite veggie), no more grapes, or even oranges. Over time, more foods cause a reaction, so it sucks royally.
The latest trigger item has become my most beloved drink: Starbucks Coffee. I am a coffee snob, I admit this freely. I will NOT drink any other coffee; I don't even brew it at home. I converted Mad Cow to drinking it, and countless others.
Today it was so horrid, I've had to make the sad decision to give up my coffee. I will still go to Starbucks, but now it's going to have to be for non-coffee stuff, like the delicious Caramel Apple Spice. But damn it, it won't be the same!!
I guess it's good I'm giving it up; after all, I should give up caffeine anyway if I want a healthy pregnancy, etc.

Farewell, my beloved Starbucks, I will miss thee...
From the time Zukster and Meddy addicted me
To the lovely new drink that came out recently...

What ever happened to....?

...the good and very educational TV shows of before? I'm talking about shows like Little Bill, which only shows now on Nick Jr. once a day. This show is awesome. it shows a sense of community, and social skills, as well as diversity in both race issues and disabilities. Blue's Clues shows how to problem solve, people with disabilities, and is just amusing.
It's like TV nowadays doesn't even address the issue of diversity at all. It seems as though shows like Oswald, Pinky Dinky Doo, and all those other shows are focused more on the reading and writing and arithmetic. That's all well and good; but seriously, kids get a lot of the math and word work already no matter where they live, but not every kid gets the chance to see people of other cultural groups or disabilities where they live. I mean, I live in an area with VERY little diversity, and the only real disabled person Monkey Child will see on a regular basis is The Bald Man. We don't have a religious belief in this family other than acceptance and tolerance of others, so we're wanting to teach him more about all faiths.
I swear, teaching children about differences and diversity is not an easy feat, and I always wonder how we're supposed to do this in this day and age if the opportunities aren't available in the area you live in.... 

Missing the Military...sometimes

Sometimes I miss the military life. I miss the base housing that power and water were paid for, I miss the medical with no co-pay, and I miss the inexpensive commisary and base exchange. I miss the steady paycheck twice a month, rather than the once a month disability check.
However, what I don't miss about the military are the doctors themselves. While I did have one AWESOME PA (PA Hot Stuff), I don't miss the doctors who treated me like crap, and the ones who said "It's a good thing you're miscarrying because you're too young to have children." or the one who brushed me off when I has a three month long period. That's right: THREE MONTHS. It didn't end until The Bald Man got out of the service and we moved up here. I go into my first doctor's appointment up here and the only good doc in the practice (the practice the last blog is directed to) was able to fix it right away. Not only did the other one brush me off, but after the ultrasound I INSISTED on to check for endometrosis the string of pearls was visible but dismissed. I finally got my records from the military after the bleeding ended, and as soon as I showed them to Good Doc, he was able to diagnose me with PCOS, and continued to say that it should have been diagnosed years ago.
All that misery, seriously, just makes me happy I am out of that lifestyle. There are other things I don't miss, like the cattiness and bitchiness that sometimes comes with military wives (except for a few, like Mad Cow and Baking Queen), and the regs for behavior of wives.

A letter to my old doctor's office (what I wanted to write!)

To whom it SHOULD concern:

Yes, I am overweight. I already know this, seeing as how I live with my body every day, so there is no need to point this out to me. In other words, do not assume I am oblivious or stupid.
I am not stupid, so your patronizing tone is not necessary. Surprisingly, I do know how to read and write, and I can understand basic medical concepts. That bachelors degree in psychology hanging in my house is not just for show.
With that education, I do know how to do research. When I'm given a diagnosis that affects my day to day life, I am going to do my research and learn about different treatment options. I suggest that you keep up on your research if you plan on treating patients at all.
That being said, the lack of respect and dedication to keeping up on research from the staff of this practice is why I am taking my business elsewhere. I would rather be treated like an intelligent human being, not like an imbecile. I would rather be able to see my doctor within two weeks of calling, not having to call two months in advance to get an appointment to get an appointment with the one practitioner who listens.

Sincerely,

The person with a brain

Not a Perfect Mommy...but willing to try

One of the things that always bug me about maternity and parenting magazines is that they depict moms as smiling, effervescent and just overly perfect. Almost like a Stepford Wife vision of motherhood, The type who go into labor and instantly pop out a beautiful baby who sleeps through the night and takes to nursing like they have done it all their lives.

HA! While I am sure there are mothers out there who can look and act like that when with their children or when pregnant, I don't know of any who are...I know that while I enjoyed being pregnant after trying for so long, I certainly did not enjoy the weight gain, the break outs, the digestive issues, the bed rest, etc that came along with it. Nursing just didn't take, and while I became okay with that, I was sad that I couldn't even help my son with that. I couldn't carry him to term, and I couldn't stay with him when he was transported to Albany, and he was born with some birth defects that needed repair, so I was hoping that I could do at least that small thing, but no luck. I definitely am not perfect.

Sometimes it makes me wonder if I should even try to have another kid.

I love my son. He is the light of my life and a joy to watch as he learns and explores his world. But I'm not perfect. Sometimes I resent the 2A.M. wake up calls and the lack of privacy. I miss having down time where I can write (like I am now, ha ha), or read (reading to him does not count). I miss watching a TV show during the day where there are not animated characters or brightly colored dancing magical figures with a neon orange-clad puppet master. You know it's bad when you have a Percocet induced dream (post surgery, mind you) involving those characters and the phallic symbol actually acts like a...well, you get the picture.

All these things make me seriously question whether or not to have another child. After all, I do have a birth defect of my own that makes it near impossible to carry a child to term without surgery, as well as fertility issues that cause weight problems and insulin resistance. Any future child would be certain to be premature and require specialized care three hours away postpartum, unless I spend the last trimester on bed rest; that would mean taking time away from caring for my son, except for story time and snuggle time.

But I do love children, and I always hated being a only child for as long as I was, and I hated being so much older than my brothers and cousins. I want my child to have a playmate who is at home and will always be there for them no matter what happens in life. I have so much respect for those who have made the choice to have only one child, and if I thought I could handle that I would make that choice as well; but I can't.

So here goes the start of my journey to become a mommy the second time around. Time to throw out the birth control and get down to business....at least, once we get some private time without our son sleeping in our room!